Sleep anxiety: Jade Wu on why trying harder to sleep backfires

You get into bed tired, start thinking about how much you need to sleep, and the thinking wakes you up. That's sleep anxiety: worry about sleep that keeps you awake. The way out runs against instinct. Stop trying to make sleep happen, and make a bad night matter less.

Jade Wu, a sleep psychologist certified in behavioral sleep medicine, finds that most of the people she sees arrive believing their sleep is fundamentally broken (Jade Wu). Her answer starts with what sleep is:

"Sleep isn't a skill you can (or need to) learn through hard work." (Jade Wu, Hello Sleep)

Why trying to sleep keeps you awake

"No one got to sleep faster by trying harder," as one of the psychologists on the American Academy of Sleep Medicine's podcast Talking Sleep puts it: effort adds energy to a system that has to wind down before sleep can start. The advice Philip Gehrman, a sleep psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, gives most often is "not to chase sleep", because "the harder we try to make it happen, the less likely it is to actually happen" (Speaking of Psychology).

Leisha Cuddihy, another psychologist on the Talking Sleep panel, has a comparison she has used for years: sleep is like a cat. Call it and chase it and it ignores you; leave it alone and it comes to you. Wu's version is plainer. You can "welcome it or allow it, but you can't summon it or control it" (Hello Sleep).

The effort often looks sensible from the inside. Wu calls these habits perpetuating factors: reasonable-looking attempts to fix sleep, such as going to bed early after a rough night, tracking sleep obsessively or resting a lot. "That worry itself is a perpetuating factor," she writes.

How the sleep anxiety cycle starts

Bad nights happen to everyone. When Gehrman speaks to an audience, he asks anyone who has never had one to raise a hand. "No one ever raises their hand." He estimates that 25 to 35% of people in the US have bouts of poor sleep now and then, and 10 to 15% have trouble that lasts three months or longer (Speaking of Psychology). The NHS puts it plainly: "A few sleepless nights are usually nothing to worry about."

The trouble starts when the worry outlives the cause. In early 2022, Cuddihy began to see a pattern: someone would have a week or two of very poor sleep, often after a clear trigger, and then panic about it. The trigger passed. The panic stayed, and it kept the bad nights going (Talking Sleep). Another psychologist on the panel compares it to losing your appetite: after two days without hunger you wouldn't decide you might never eat again, yet with sleep, people leap from one or two bad nights to dire predictions, and the alarm keeps them awake.

Put together, the loop has four stages: a bad night, fear about the next day, effort to fix it, and more alertness in bed, which brings the next bad night. The fear and much of the effort take shape in daylight, which is where the steps below start.

What to do with the worry before bed

"You can't turn off your brain," Wu told The People's Pharmacy. We tend to assume busy thoughts keep us awake, she explained, when being awake is what gives the brain room to spin. So give the worries a time and a place that isn't your pillow.

Sleep scientist Matthew Walker suggests scheduled worry time: 15 minutes in the early evening, around 6pm for example, with a notepad. Write out your worries, put a possible action or reminder next to each, and close the notebook. If a worry turns up at night, remind yourself, "I already dealt with this today. I have time scheduled again tomorrow."

Two columns make it easier: what's on your mind on the left, the very next step on the right, and if something is out of your hands, write that down too. One journalist who investigated her own poor sleep for a book needed the list for about two weeks before her brain began doing it unprompted; clinicians told her two to three weeks is typical.

Change what you tell yourself about sleep

Walker's guide suggests questioning the thought itself. Is it true? Is it always true? Haven't you got through days on less sleep before? Then rewrite the rule: swap "I must sleep eight hours or I'll fall apart" for "I'd prefer eight hours, but I can function on six if I need to" (The Matt Walker Podcast).

Wu asks people a similar question: have you managed the day after a poor night before? Most have, and she finds they often function better, and sleep more, than they believe (The People's Pharmacy).

Poor sleep does carry risks, the Talking Sleep panel says, but the risk "doesn't accumulate overnight. It takes time." Wu adds that the scary headlines are mostly about sleep deprivation, where something stops you sleeping, such as a crying baby or only five hours in bed. Most people who struggle to sleep despite plenty of time in bed, she writes, are getting enough sleep on average. Our guide to sleep deprivation explains why a higher risk is not a forecast.

"Your brain hasn't forgotten how to sleep. It's just gotten some mixed signals." (Matthew Walker)

Keep your day, and your wake time

After a bad night, the instinct is to make up for it with an early night, a lie-in or a long nap. The NHS advises the opposite: "do not sleep in after a bad night's sleep", and only go to bed when you're sleepy. Wu explains that early nights, lie-ins and naps spend the sleep drive you build by staying awake, which leaves less for the next night. Our post on a fixed wake time explains the morning anchor.

Then live the day anyway. One of the Talking Sleep psychologists tells people that "you sleep to live, not live to sleep." If you feel drowsy rather than tired, skip anything risky: the NHS says do not drive when you feel sleepy.

Can't sleep because of anxiety? Take the fight out of the night

When the worry follows you to bed anyway, the aim is to stop fighting. Turn the clock away, give your mind a calm job such as slow breathing, and if you've lain there frustrated for about 20 minutes, get up and do something relaxing until you feel sleepy. Our guide to waking up at 3am has the full night plan, including a quick check for whether you're resting or fighting.

When to see a doctor about sleep anxiety

If sleep has been hard for three months or longer, book an appointment with your GP or doctor: there are effective treatments for long-term sleep problems. The NHS also suggests seeing a GP if changing your sleep habits hasn't helped, or if poor sleep is making daily life hard to cope with. Mention worry that isn't only about sleep as well, since the NHS lists stress, anxiety and depression among the most common causes of sleep problems. If you feel unable to cope or keep yourself safe and can't wait for an appointment, the NHS advises getting urgent support. This article is education, and it doesn't replace a doctor who knows you.

Start tomorrow at 6pm

Set a timer for 15 minutes and write down what's on your mind, with one next step beside each item. Then close the notebook. If one of those worries turns up in bed, you already have an answer for it: it's on the list, and there's time for it again tomorrow.

This article draws on Jade Wu's book and interviews, the American Academy of Sleep Medicine's Talking Sleep podcast, Philip Gehrman, Matthew Walker and NHS guidance. Full list below.

The first chapter of the 1h Protocol for Better Sleep is free. It names the pattern behind your sleep and gives you one first step. Start free and see which part of the loop is yours.

Frequently asked questions

What is sleep anxiety?

Sleep anxiety is worry about sleep that makes sleep harder: fear of not sleeping, and of how you'll cope tomorrow, keeps your mind and body alert at bedtime. It describes a common pattern rather than a medical label. Sleep clinicians often see it begin after a short run of bad nights, when the worry outlasts whatever caused them.

How do I stop the sleep anxiety cycle?

By day, give your worries a slot in the early evening, question the rules you hold about sleep, and keep your usual wake time after a bad night. At night, stop trying to force sleep, and get up if you've lain awake frustrated for about 20 minutes. If it has lasted three months or more, talk to a doctor.

Why does trying to sleep keep me awake?

Effort is a form of arousal, and falling asleep needs the opposite. Sleep psychologists on the American Academy of Sleep Medicine's podcast put it simply: no one falls asleep faster by trying harder. Lying in bed straining for sleep can also teach your brain that bed is a place for being awake.

How do I stop racing thoughts at night?

You can't switch your brain off, so move the thinking earlier: write your worries down with a next step in the early evening, so less is left for the night. In bed, give your mind a calm job, such as slow breathing, and get up if you're lying there frustrated.

Sources

• Jade Wu, Hello Sleep: The Science and Art of Overcoming Insomnia Without Medications (book; publisher page and chapter 1 excerpt, St. Martin's Essentials, 2023)
• Jade Wu, FAQs about sleep and insomnia (clinician's resources page, undated)
• The People's Pharmacy, Show 1333: Overcoming insomnia without medication, with Jade Wu (radio show and podcast, 2023)
• Talking Sleep, S6E18: Sleep-related anxiety and new-onset insomnia (American Academy of Sleep Medicine podcast, with Leisha Cuddihy, Sara Nowakowski and Michael Grandner, 2024)
• Speaking of Psychology, Ep. 387: Rethinking sleep and mental health, with Philip Gehrman (American Psychological Association podcast, 2026)
• The Matt Walker Podcast #121: A practical guide to insomnia (podcast episode, 2026)
• Ten Percent Happier 444: How to sleep better, with Diane Macedo (podcast episode, 2022)
• NHS Every Mind Matters: How to fall asleep faster and sleep better (public health guidance)
• NHS Every Mind Matters: Sleep problems (public health guidance)
• NHS: Insomnia (public health guidance, reviewed 2024)