Feeling overwhelmed? Emma McAdam on getting it out of your head

When you feel overwhelmed, write every open demand on one page instead of holding it in your head. Give each item a mark: now, later with a day, drop (and say so), hand it off, or raise it with whoever set it. Then circle the one that matters most and start there, one thing at a time. Once a week, sort the page again.

McAdam teaches mental health skills on YouTube and also sells a paid membership of courses. In a 2026 video on overwhelm, McAdam describes the feeling plainly: the dishes pile up, the emails keep coming, and you can't get going (McAdam, 2026). The video's answer is simple. Once you're a little steadier, sit down and ask honestly what has to be done today and what can wait, then put the whole list on paper. In McAdam's words, "The brain hates confusion more than it hates work" (10:50).

That line is the heart of this article. A long list isn't what overwhelms you. A long list you've never sorted does.

A word on scope before the steps. This article is about everyday overwhelm from the load of work, home and caring. In the program's words: "This is a wellness program about everyday stress from the load you carry at work, at home and in caring for others, not health care. It doesn't give medical advice, and it doesn't diagnose or treat anything. It isn't for burnout, anxiety disorders, depression or trauma."

Below, McAdam's brain dump is joined with research on how stress piles up, why urgent-looking tasks win, and what switching between tasks costs, plus voices from Italy, France and Germany. By the end, you'll be able to get your load onto one page, sort it in a few minutes, and choose where to start without second-guessing it.

Why does everything feel urgent at once?

1. See the pile-up for what it is

In the 1h Protocol to Manage Everyday Stress, this is called the Pile-up: many demands open at once, none sorted, and last week's unfinished ones sitting on top of today's.

The pile is real. In a study that followed 289 community-residing adults aged 18 to 89 for a month with a daily diary, a pile-up of stressful events over the past week went with a worse mood on a given day, on top of that day's own stress (Schilling & Diehl, 2014). It was a link in daily life, not proof of cause.

Popular voices in other languages describe the same thing. Luca Mazzucchelli, an Italian psychologist with a YouTube channel, says the big life events aren't the only problem: "quando degli stress minori ... si accumulano uno sopra l'altro", when minor stresses pile up one on top of another, they can weigh a lot through a kind of cumulative effect (Mazzucchelli, 2023, 1:16). Mazzucchelli also runs a group of psychology centers. Dr Dominique Servant, a psychiatrist in Lille, answering viewers' questions for Brut, puts it in three words: what's often seen is "l'accumulation des stress", the build-up of stresses (Brut, 2022, 0:42). And the German presenter Leon Windscheid draws daily hassles as drops in a glass: each one alone is no problem, until one more makes it overflow (Terra Xplore, 2023, 10:19).

So if a small thing tips you over, look at the glass, not just the drop. Being overwhelmed by small things usually means there were a lot of small things.

2. Notice the urgency trap

When everything is open at once, everything starts to look equally urgent. In five experiments, people often picked tasks that only looked urgent, such as one with a deadline about to expire, over tasks that paid off more (Zhu et al., 2018). They were small lab tasks, so take it as a pull to watch for, not a rule about your life.

On a messy day, that pull means the loudest thing gets done and the important one waits. One question helps: is this really urgent, or does it only look it?

3. Stop doing it all at once

Juggling feels productive and costs more than it seems. In lab tasks, every switch between two tasks cost a little time, more so when the tasks were complex (Rubinstein et al., 2001). BBC Ideas, in a short explainer made with the Open University, says that when attention is overloaded, "the result is nearly always that we perform tasks less well than we would doing them one at a time" (BBC Ideas, 2020, 1:41).

McAdam's image for it is a pen with ten colors: push all ten down at once and none of them writes (8:06). The fix isn't more effort. It's one color at a time.

"The brain hates confusion more than it hates work." Emma McAdam

Get it all on one page

4. Empty your head onto paper

The video's advice is to get the list out of your head and onto paper (10:18). Every open demand goes on one page, one per line, a few words each: work, home, the call you promised, the form, the birthday present. Not just today's. Everything that's open.

"You're not trying to make the perfect plan," McAdam adds. "You're just trying to turn that brain noise into a list" (10:50). If the full page feels like too much to look at, McAdam suggests writing just the next thing on a sticky note and setting the list aside for now.

Here's what that looks like in practice. A parent working full time writes eleven lines on a Sunday evening: the quarterly report, two client emails, the school form, the car service, a dentist booking, a neighbor's favor, the team rota, a birthday present, the leaking tap, and a call to their sister. Eleven things is a lot, but on paper it has an end.

5. Give each line one mark

The video's next step is to cross off what isn't urgent or important and circle a few actionable things (10:18). The program uses five marks, as a starting point, so that nothing is crossed off by accident:

• Now: it needs you this week.
• Later, with a day: it can wait, and it gets a day.
• Drop: it isn't worth doing, and you say so to whoever expects it.
• Hand off: someone else can do it, the whole of it.
• Raise: someone else set it, and it needs a conversation.

Public advice agrees on the first moves. The US National Library of Medicine suggests you "decide what you need to do now and what can wait" (MedlinePlus), and the NHS stress page says not to try to do everything at once.

Two of these marks need care. "Drop" means said openly or agreed. Quietly letting something slide doesn't change what others expect of you, so drop out loud. "Hand off" and "raise" are about whose hands the load is in. If many of your lines are set by someone else, see how to say no at work. If they all sit with you at home, see the mental load.

6. Give "later" a real day

"Later" without a day is just the pile again. Give each one a day, even a rough one. In lab studies, people who made a specific plan for an unfinished goal stopped being pulled back to it, even before they'd done it (Masicampo & Baumeister, 2011). They were short experiments, so treat it as a direction rather than a promise. But it fits the feeling: a line with "Thursday" next to it lets you stop holding it.

Pick one, then keep the pile from rebuilding

7. Circle the one that comes first

Look at everything you marked "now" and circle one: the one that matters most, not the loudest one. The video circles three; the program circles one, because one is easier to start. If you can't choose, pick the one that would cost most if it waited. Then start with it, and do one thing at a time.

If you're stuck choosing because the item is one big decision, see decision paralysis. If you know what it is but can't start, find its smallest next step: see the next action.

8. Sort again once a week

A sort done once helps for a day. The pile rebuilds by Monday. So give the sort a regular slot: about ten minutes, once a week, at a time when the week is still ahead of you. The program suggests the evening before it starts, or the start of its first day. If you miss it, sort just the three biggest demands the next morning. These are starting points; change them to fit your week.

Is there evidence that this kind of organizing helps? A review of 158 studies found that people who manage their time tend to report more well-being and less distress (Aeon et al., 2021). Most of those studies measured both things at one moment, so it's a link, not proof that any one method works. The weekly sort is the program's own starting point, built on public advice.

9. Know what the sort can't do

A page won't make a load fit that's simply too big. If, week after week, most of your "now" lines are set by someone else, the next move is a conversation, not a better list. And if the pile tips over into one moment where it all lands at once, see box breathing for what a slow breath can and can't do, and how to sort at speed. For the wider picture of why days tip, see how to manage stress. If the trouble is a worry that keeps going round after the list is done, that's a different habit: see how to stop overthinking.

Back to the page

McAdam's point is that overwhelm is confusion more than work. The list was always that long; it just lived in your head, where every line shouted at once. On paper, each line gets a mark, a day or a name, and one gets a circle. As McAdam says, "the brain hates confusion more than it hates work." Tonight, write it all down and circle one.

To build this around your own load, try the 1h Protocol to Manage Everyday Stress, a program of practical education for adults 18 and over. Its free first chapter asks a few short questions to find your stress pattern, shows the Load, the Hands and the Refill in one screen, and gives you one first step. The full program takes about an hour: you put your real load on one page, marked and sorted with one thing first, set a time each week to sort it again, give each day an end, and draft what you'd raise, with your country's rules and a date. You also write one line in your own words for the moment it all lands at once. You leave with a plan built from your own answers, a card with a check for any day, a fourteen-day log to try it, and your review days in your calendar. Four short check-ins follow by email on days 1, 7, 14 and 30. Start free

Frequently asked questions

Why do I feel overwhelmed by small things?

Usually because there are a lot of them, and they're all open at once. In a month-long diary study, last week's pile-up of stressful events went with a worse mood on a given day, on top of that day's own stress (Schilling & Diehl, 2014). The small thing is often just the last drop. Write everything down so you can see the whole glass.

What should I do first when everything feels urgent?

Write it all on one page, then ask of each "now" item: really urgent, or does it only look it? In experiments, people often chose tasks that only looked urgent over ones that paid off more (Zhu et al., 2018). Circle the one that matters most and start there.

How do I prioritize when everything is important?

Pick the one that would cost most if it waited, and give everything else a day. Then do one thing at a time: in lab tasks, every switch between tasks cost a little time, more so for complex ones (Rubinstein et al., 2001). If many items are set by someone else, the priority question belongs to them too: raise it.

Is it OK to drop things off my list?

Yes, if you drop them openly. Tell whoever expects it, or agree it with them. Quietly letting things slide doesn't change what others expect of you.

Is it stress or burnout?

The World Health Organization describes burnout as an occupational phenomenon, tied to work, and doesn't class it as a medical condition (WHO, 2019). This article doesn't try to tell you which you have. This is a wellness program about everyday stress from the load you carry at work, at home and in caring for others, not health care. It doesn't give medical advice, and it doesn't diagnose or treat anything. It isn't for burnout, anxiety disorders, depression or trauma. If stress doesn't ease, or it starts getting in the way of your daily life, or what you're trying yourself isn't helping, see a doctor.

Sources

This article draws on Emma McAdam's video on overwhelm, videos by Luca Mazzucchelli, Dr Dominique Servant (for Brut), Leon Windscheid (for Terra Xplore) and BBC Ideas, research on stress pile-up, urgency, task switching, plan making and time management, and public guidance, listed below.

• Emma McAdam, How to make yourself do stuff when you're paralyzed with overwhelm (YouTube video, captions uploaded by the channel, 2026)
• Luca Mazzucchelli, Troppo stress? Cosa fare per imparare a gestire lo stress (YouTube video, creator captions, Italian, 2023)
• Brut with Dr Dominique Servant, Tout savoir sur le stress et comment y faire face (social video Q&A, creator captions, French, 2022)
• Terra Xplore with Leon Windscheid, Besser mit Stress umgehen (YouTube video, channel captions, German, 2023)
• BBC Ideas, What multitasking does to your brain (animated explainer with the Open University, channel captions, 2020)
• Schilling & Diehl, Reactivity to stressor pile-up in adulthood (30-day diary study, 289 community-residing adults aged 18 to 89, 2014)
• Zhu et al, The mere urgency effect (five experiments, abstract only, 2018)
• Rubinstein et al, Executive control of cognitive processes in task switching (lab experiments, abstract only, 2001)
• Masicampo & Baumeister, Consider it done! (lab experiments, abstract only, 2011)
• Aeon, Faber & Panaccio, Does time management work? A meta-analysis (meta-analysis of 158 studies, mostly cross-sectional, 2021)
• MedlinePlus, Stress (US National Library of Medicine health topic page, 2023)
• World Health Organization, Burn-out an occupational phenomenon (statement on ICD-11, 2019)
• NHS, Stress (public health page, 2026): named, not linked, because the page prints helpline numbers. The doctor line in this article is the program's own wording.