How to stop worrying about the future: Kate Sweeny on uncertainty

To stop worrying about the future, sort the worry before you try to solve it. Ask whether you can act on it now. If you can, write one step with a time. If you can't, split it into what you know, what you imagine and what you can do, plan for the one or two outcomes that are actually likely, and give the rest a set time later in the day. The future stays uncertain either way; the sorting decides how much of today it takes.

Sweeny has studied people in some of life's tensest waits: law graduates waiting for their bar exam results, academics on the job market, voters on election night. She also calls herself "a worrier by nature," a trait she says she got from her mother. On the American Psychological Association's Speaking of Psychology, she explained why waiting is so hard: you don't know what's coming, and you can't do much about it. Both are uncomfortable, and waiting puts them together.

Her answer keeps worry and gives it a job it can finish. The moves below draw on her interviews, on psychologists in Italy, France and Brazil, and on public health guidance. By the end, you'll be able to tell a worry you can act on from one you can't, take the step that's there, and set the rest down until a time you choose.

Why won't the "what ifs" settle?

1. See the chain for what it is

A "what if" rarely comes alone: what if I'm late, and they're annoyed, and the project goes to someone else? By the end you're living in something that hasn't happened.

The Italian psychotherapist Gabriele Caselli uses a picture to explain it on the State of Mind podcast. A deer that sees a bush move can run, and the alarm is spent. A person who only imagines a predator in the bush has nowhere to run, because the threat is in the future and in the mind (20:33). People want to foresee and prevent bad outcomes, Caselli says, but "nel presente non si è in grado di fare nulla concretamente per eliminare un dubbio, se non aspettare" ("in the present you can't do anything concrete to remove a doubt, except wait", 22:54).

2. Know why not knowing is so hard

Sweeny's research points to the same gap. Worry, she says, "draws our attention to something that might befall us in the future" and pushes us to prevent it. "When we're waiting, we often can't do anything about the future event… worry in that case can get a little stuck" (3:26 to 3:49). Her example: once you've sat an exam, nothing you do while waiting changes the grade.

Lab studies show how much the not knowing itself weighs. In a London experiment, 45 healthy adults aged 19 to 35 learned to predict whether a painful electric shock would follow a picture. Their stress ratings, pupil size and skin response rose and fell with how unpredictable the shock felt, peaking when they couldn't tell either way (de Berker et al., 2016). A lab task isn't life, but the pattern is familiar.

Other researchers made not knowing harder to bear on purpose. In a gambling task, people whose tolerance for uncertainty was pushed down went on to worry more than people whose tolerance was raised (Ladouceur et al., 2000). Among university students, finding uncertainty hard to sit with was one of the strongest links to how much someone worries (Dugas et al., 1997). That second study shows a link, not a cause. One researcher argues that fear of the unknown may be among our most basic fears, present in everyone to some degree (Carleton, 2016).

So when a "what if" won't settle, it's because the question is open, and the mind keeps visiting it, trying to close it.

What can you do about it now?

3. Ask "Can I act on this now?"

The NHS calls this the worry tree. It separates "problems you can solve" from "hypothetical worries that are beyond your control," then asks whether to act now or schedule it for later (NHS). Make any step specific: what, how and when.

The French psychologist Faustine Devynck uses a similar decision tree on RFI's health show Priorité santé (28:39 to 30:23). First, is this a real problem? If it is, can I have some hold on it? Only when the answer is no does Devynck turn to ways of bringing attention back to the present. Used on a problem you could act on, Devynck warns, those become a way of avoiding it, and the problem stays.

In practice:

• "What if the report isn't good enough?" You can act: book an hour tomorrow at 10 to finish section two.
• "What if the company announces cuts next year?" You can't act on that tonight. It goes to a set time later, in a few words: "cuts, next year."

4. Split it: what I know, what I imagine, what I can do

For a worry that's partly real and partly imagined, the Italian clinical psychologist Guglielmo Pezzillo suggests two moves on the podcast Fatti di Mente. First, write the problem in one sentence, without the big interpretation: "I have to hand in a presentation on Friday and haven't planned its structure," in place of "I can't handle my job" (29:30). Then separate three things: "Ciò che sappiamo, ciò che stiamo immaginando e ciò che possiamo fare" ("What we know, what we're imagining and what we can do", 30:12).

The first list is usually short. The second is long, and most of the weight sits there. The third is where the chain becomes a step. "Se esiste un'azione utile il pensiero deve poter terminare in quell'azione," Pezzillo says ("if there's a useful action, the thought must be able to end in that action", 30:43). If the third list is empty, you've learned something too: this one waits.

5. Plan for the one or two likely outcomes

The chain wants a plan for every branch, and there's always one more branch. Kirsty Ross, a senior clinical psychologist at Massey University in New Zealand, says planning for every eventuality has "limited usefulness." "What is more helpful is to make a plan for one or two of the more likely possibilities and accept there may be things that happen you haven't thought of" (The Conversation).

So pick the one or two outcomes that are actually likely. Plan for each in a line: what you'd do, and who you'd tell. Let the rest stay open. Western Australia's Centre for Clinical Interventions asks the question that makes this easier: "has your worrying made anything more certain or more predictable?" (CCI).

How do you live with what's still open?

6. Give the rest a time, then go back to something absorbing

What you can't act on still needs somewhere to go. The NHS advice: if there's nothing you can do for the moment, schedule a time, and if the worry bubbles back up, remind yourself you have a plan (NHS). Write it in a few words and give it a short slot later in the day, away from bed. Our guide to worry time shows how to set one up.

Then go back to what you were doing, fully. Sweeny's lab has looked at flow, the state of being so absorbed in an activity that time flies. She suggests a test for finding yours: the thing you can't start if you have to leave the house soon, because you'll lose track of time (Speaking of Psychology, 15:26). Something absorbing gives the waiting less room than trying to think about something else.

7. Hold on to hope, and brace only near the end

Should you expect the worst so it won't hurt as much? Sweeny has studied bracing for about 20 years, and says almost everyone does it as the moment of truth approaches. Her advice, on The Art of Manliness, is about timing: "hold on to optimism as long as you can, but not all the way up until you get the news" (20:04). Bracing near the end can soften the shock, she says, "as long as you don't embrace pessimism for too long" (20:36).

The Brazilian psychologist Alana Anijar offers a question for the long middle of the wait. "e se tudo der errado? Mas e se tudo der certo?" ("what if it all goes wrong? But what if it all goes right?", Psicologia na Prática, 10:01). Uncertainty, Anijar says, "não é só uma ameaça. É também uma possibilidade" ("isn't only a threat. It's also a possibility", 9:57).

8. Don't lean on the "90%" figure

You may have read that 90% of worries never happen. The number comes from a 2020 study of 29 US undergraduates whose worry met a clinical cutoff on a questionnaire. They logged their worries for ten days and checked them over 30 days: 91.4% of the worries didn't come true, and of those that did, about 30% turned out better than expected (LaFreniere & Newman, 2020). A tiny group of students judged their own outcomes, so it can't tell you the odds of yours. The habit is worth borrowing, though: write the worry down with a date, and look back later. And a thought that keeps coming back isn't more likely for it: see a thought that repeats isn't truer.

Is this everyday worry?

Worry about the future is part of everyday life, and this article is about that everyday kind. The 1h Protocol to Reduce Worry and Overthinking puts its scope this way: "This is a wellness program about everyday worry and overthinking, not health care. It doesn't give medical advice, and it doesn't diagnose or treat anything. It isn't for anxiety disorders, panic, OCD, trauma or depression."

If worry doesn't ease, or it starts causing problems at work, at home or with friends and family, see a doctor. See one too if what you're trying isn't helping.

Back to the wait

Sweeny, a self-described worrier, finds worry useful when it moves you to act and stuck when there's nothing to do yet. So take the step if there is one, and give the rest a time of its own. In her words, "hold on to optimism as long as you can."

Related guides: decision paralysis for a choice that keeps going round, how to stop googling symptoms for checking, why do I worry so much?, how to stop overthinking and the short read is it in my hands right now?

To build this around your own worries, try the 1h Protocol to Reduce Worry and Overthinking, a program of practical education. Its free first chapter finds which of five patterns your worry follows, shows the three things that keep the loop going (the Pull, the Open Question and the Groove) and gives you one first step. The full program takes about an hour. It follows one worry of your own from the moment it arrives, parks it in a few words with one next step, sets a short daily slot at your own time and away from bed, and plans what to do when you're awake and it won't stop. You leave with a page of your changes, a card with your slot and three questions to ask when a worry starts, a fourteen-day log, and your day-7 and day-14 reviews in your calendar. If you're signed in, one-tap check-ins follow by email on days 1, 7, 14 and 30. Start free

Frequently asked questions

Why is uncertainty so hard to deal with?

It combines not knowing with not being able to act (Speaking of Psychology). In a lab study of 45 adults, stress tracked how unpredictable a bad outcome was (de Berker et al., 2016).

How do I stop "what if" thoughts?

Sort them first. Ask "Can I act on this now?" If yes, write one step with a time. If no, split it into what you know, what you imagine and what you can do (Fatti di Mente, 30:12), and give what's left a set time later, away from bed.

How do I cope with waiting for news?

Find something absorbing to do, keep your hopes up for most of the wait, and brace only near the end. Sweeny's advice is to "hold on to optimism as long as you can, but not all the way up until you get the news" (The Art of Manliness, 20:04).

How do I stop worrying about things I can't control?

Check first that it really is out of your hands; the NHS worry tree asks exactly that (NHS). If it is, plan a line for the one or two likely outcomes, write the worry in a few words for a set time, and go back to what you were doing. If worry doesn't ease, or it starts causing problems at work, at home or with friends and family, see a doctor.

Is it better to expect the worst?

Only near the end. Almost everyone braces as the moment of truth approaches, Sweeny says, and that can soften the shock, "as long as you don't embrace pessimism for too long" (The Art of Manliness, 20:36).

Sources

This article draws on Kate Sweeny's interviews on Speaking of Psychology and The Art of Manliness, Gabriele Caselli on State of Mind, Faustine Devynck on RFI, Guglielmo Pezzillo on Fatti di Mente, Alana Anijar on Psicologia na Prática, Kirsty Ross in The Conversation, and the studies and guidance listed below.

• Waiting, worrying and dealing with uncertainty, with Kate Sweeny (podcast episode, Speaking of Psychology, APA, 2021)
• How to Deal With the Worry of Waiting, with Kate Sweeny (podcast episode, The Art of Manliness 884, 2023)
• de Berker et al, Computations of uncertainty mediate acute stress responses in humans (lab experiment, 45 healthy adults aged 19 to 35, 2016)
• Ladouceur, Gosselin & Dugas, an experiment on uncertainty and worry (lab experiment, abstract only, 2000)
• Dugas, Freeston & Ladouceur, a study of uncertainty and worry in students (questionnaire study of university students, abstract only, 1997)
• Carleton, Fear of the unknown: one fear to rule them all? (review and argument, 2016)
• State of Mind podcast, with Gabriele Caselli, episode 1 (podcast episode in Italian, 2020)
• NHS Every Mind Matters, Tackling your worries (health information page, 2026)
• RFI Priorité santé, with Faustine Devynck and Jean-François Marmion (radio episode in French, 2026)
• Centre for Clinical Interventions, Accepting Uncertainty information sheet (Western Australia public health self-help sheet, 2023)
• Come smettere di pensare troppo, Guglielmo Pezzillo (podcast episode in Italian, Fatti di Mente, 2026)
• Kirsty Ross, How can I stop overthinking everything? (expert article, The Conversation, 2024)
• Como viver com a incerteza sem perder a paz, Alana Anijar (podcast episode in Brazilian Portuguese, 2025)
• LaFreniere & Newman, Exposing worry's deceit (study of 29 undergraduates logging worries over 30 days, 2020)